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This transcript captures a lively tabletop RPG session, likely from a high-level campaign involving complex combat scenarios, environmental hazards, and dynamic character interactions. Below are the key points from the session:

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- The group is in a castle-like environment, exploring rooms filled with magical traps, hidden doors, vegetation, and hostile creatures. - Several characters were highlighted:

1. Speaker 1: Narrates much of the session, describing settings, NPCs, and the consequences of player actions.
2. Speaker 2: Plays a heavily armored and weapon-wielding character, possibly a barbarian or fighter, engaging enemies directly.
3. Speaker 3 & 4: Provide ranged and spellcasting support, reacting to environmental challenges and offering tactical insights.
4. NPCs and Enemies: Include a polymorphed “blackguard,” a tower golem, an earth elemental, and a hybrid “shark-bear” creature.

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- Tower Golem Battle:

1. A massive construct immune to most magic; it regenerates damage and can cause structural hazards like creating pits in the floor.
2. The party coordinated attacks, leveraging adamantine weapons to bypass its defenses, eventually defeating it with heavy damage.

- Polymorphed Blackguard:

1. A recurring antagonist, this tiny but deadly character waged combat while taunting the players. After being captured, she continued to antagonize the group, prompting a mix of amusement and frustration.
2. Ultimately, she was “masticated” (chewed to death) by a bear-like party member in a humorous and grim sequence.

- Earth Elemental:

1. Encountered in a pit-riddled room. It attempted to trap players using environmental manipulation. The party overcame it with combined physical and magical attacks.

- Shark-Bear Abomination:

1. A grotesque creature with shark heads for hands. The party quickly dealt with this monster, indicating their high level of power.

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- Environment:

1. The castle was full of concealed dangers: illusory grass, hidden pit traps, and deceptive vegetation with harmful properties.
2. A secret door system connected rooms, with the group cautiously navigating through these spaces.

- Tactical Discussions:

1. Frequent debates arose over how to best handle threats. Strategies ranged from brute force to negotiation, though most encounters devolved into combat.
2. Notable comedic exchanges included:
   1. Whether to “eat” or “banish” enemies.
   2. A character commenting on their “rod of conversion,” leading to humorous banter about its meaning.

- Player Mechanics:

1. Players used abilities such as detect traps, wall of stone, and dismissal to interact with the environment and bypass challenges.
2. Resource management and situational awareness (like avoiding pit traps) played crucial roles.

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- Interspersed with mechanics were moments of levity, banter, and camaraderie:

1. Discussions about past campaigns and how older rules (like XP for treasure) influenced gameplay.
2. The polymorphed blackguard’s antics and the bear’s dramatic “masticating” were standout comedic elements.

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- The session concluded with the group poised to explore deeper into the castle, eyeing a significant chamber believed to hold a powerful floating stone tied to their mission. - Speculation included potential ambushes and boss-level encounters awaiting in the next session.

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This transcript showcases a mix of tactical combat, imaginative roleplay, and player humor, reflecting the charm of collaborative tabletop RPGs.

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Fria - HT : 0:00 - 0:34

You've been building up for that one for a while, so someone had to lance that particular boil. That's absolutely fine, and it's actually really interesting hearing it from, effectively, from the Russian point of view rather than the Western point of view. Somewhere between the two, there is the truth.

A lot of the Russian things, I'm sitting there going, it doesn't quite ring, but it's, yeah, there is nothing.

Bjanri - PN : 0:34 - 0:34

There are unpalatable things in here.

Fria - HT : 0:34 - 0:38

Yeah, it's unpalatable, but it's also really useful to know, yeah.

Bjanri - PN : 0:39 - 0:45

Always put yourself in the boots of the other person is one of those other valuable things.

GM - DF : 0:45 - 0:49

Then you'll be fired.

The plane is all going too wealthy.

Wulf - PB : 0:51 - 0:55

Yeah, it's always interesting to get your point of view, however wrong you might be. He's always very interested.

Fria - HT : 0:57 - 1:25

Yes. So, we have a unicorn in a box, a tiny little creature, a blackguard sort of anti-paladin who has become a tiniest little thing to try to escape from the box. We have the largest tower golem we've met.

In fact, the only tower golem, but I think he's bigger than the titan, isn't he?

Wulf - PB : 1:25 - 1:26

Yeah, probably.

Bjanri - PN : 1:28 - 1:29

I'm sure the titan can get bigger.

Fria - HT : 1:30 - 2:06

Who is exchanging blows with Bjarne, and I think Bjarne is just ahead on points, but quite frankly, I don't know if he's the underdog there or not, and tower golems are largely immune to magic, so that's going to be one I'm going to… Dave made many attempts to level the playing field, including casting a disintegrate upon the box and sending in a troop of pirates, which I thoroughly enjoyed incinerating.

Wulf - PB : 2:07 - 2:31

So, now I think we have a castle with a blade wall upon it, and we have a huge titan, plus we are trapped and none of our methods of coming and going other than tree walk and one other work.

Fria - HT : 2:33 - 2:34

Is that reasonable?

Jestix - TE : 2:36 - 2:37

It's completely unreasonable.

Fria - HT : 2:38 - 3:06

We've been doing flame strikes into what is now known as the barbecue box, which the unicorn and tiny Blaggard really dislike.

But the last thing that happens is the tiny Blaggard managed to escape out of the box. Have I missed too much in the summary there, Dave? Blaggard's name is Jarl of Reach.

GM - DF : 3:06 - 3:14

Yes, and I haven't actually opened her capture sheet. It's going to make all the difference for much longer, I don't think.

Fria - HT : 3:15 - 3:49

Everyone…

well, a lot of us were polymorphed, but Isindel and Vulf are back, I am still a tiny flying thing about 30 feet up in the air, only because I needed to be up there in order to see over the battlements to engage whoever was going to try and take out my force cage, which I managed successfully to do. So I'm a tiny little sprite at the moment.

Wulf - PB : 3:55 - 3:57

There are many Vulfs at the moment.

Fria - HT : 4:00 - 4:04

And I believe, Vulf, you took an…

Jestix - TE : 4:04 - 4:16

Yeah, but that did raise the question I asked before, because he cast it when he was in sprite form. And do they reflect his new form?

Or is he surrounded by a swarm of sprites?

GM - DF : 4:17 - 4:18

I'm going to say it does.

Fria - HT : 4:21 - 4:24

It's a mirror.

It's whatever you do.

GM - DF : 4:26 - 4:31

So how many mirrors have you actually got there? How many images?

Wulf - PB : 4:32 - 4:45

Eight images and Vulf are all back. All right, if you have a look over here, where I keep that info.

GM - DF : 4:46 - 4:59

I wish to remind me whether you've got a memory. Right, if I remember right, we're at the beginning of the round and it's Isindel. It's probably like round four or five.

Jestix - TE : 5:00 - 5:01

Four, I think.

Fria - HT : 5:02 - 5:03

It's only been about 20 seconds.

GM - DF : 5:04 - 5:09

Four, isn't it? Not many rounds have actually happened. So, Isindel's go.

Wulf - PB : 5:10 - 5:12

Okay, so she's going to…

Jestix - TE : 5:12 - 5:14

Might even be only going three.

GM - DF : 5:15 - 5:16

Yeah, possible.

Jestix - TE : 5:17 - 5:19

I think Isindel's only shot twice.

Wulf - PB : 5:22 - 5:23

Okay, why not?

Fria - HT : 5:23 - 5:26

Do we think the tower golems are stone golem?

Jestix - TE : 5:27 - 5:28

Stone-ish.

Bjanri - PN : 5:28 - 5:29

No idea.

Fria - HT : 5:31 - 5:38

Because they're usually immune to put… I've been trying to think of how I can help. And they're usually immune to pretty much every spell I can cast.

Jestix - TE : 5:39 - 5:39

Yep.

Bjanri - PN : 5:40 - 5:41

Don't worry about it.

Jestix - TE : 5:42 - 5:42

But we do.

Wulf - PB : 5:45 - 5:56

So, yeah, she's going to shoot the tower golem because it's the only thing she can reasonably see. She'll let the mages fry the other things. So, many shots.

Jestix - TE : 5:59 - 6:04

You're probably going to hit because I seem to remember the AC was something in the region of 19 or 18.

Wulf - PB : 6:06 - 6:19

The 2-1's not going to help with that. Okay. Watch.

So, yeah, AC 28 is my worst hit. 38, sorry, is my worst hit.

Fria - HT : 6:20 - 6:20

Yeah, tears.

Wulf - PB : 6:21 - 6:22

I assume you can't crit.

GM - DF : 6:22 - 6:24

They're magic arrows, aren't they? Yeah.

Fria - HT : 6:25 - 6:28

So, take eight off each one for the hardness.

Wulf - PB : 6:30 - 6:31

Is it… can it crit?

GM - DF : 6:33 - 6:36

I don't think so, as it's a golem.

Jestix - TE : 6:36 - 6:37

No.

Wulf - PB : 6:37 - 6:44

Normal golems can't be critted, no. Can I… is it immune to cold?

Jestix - TE : 6:48 - 6:48

Probably.

GM - DF : 6:49 - 6:50

It's immune to magic.

Jestix - TE : 6:54 - 6:55

Is it cold magic?

Wulf - PB : 6:57 - 7:05

Yeah, it's from the weapon effect. Frost weapon.

GM - DF : 7:09 - 7:16

Well, you're doing cold damage, aren't you? So, it doesn't seem to be immune to cold.

Fria - HT : 7:16 - 7:37

Yeah, the black garland…

what do you call it? And the unicorn in the barbecue box is burnable. No, I haven't.

You may have to keep it moving, Dave, because your auto…

Jestix - TE : 7:37 - 7:38

That's fine, we can see that.

Fria - HT : 7:40 - 7:44

Oh, cool.

It's big, it's like a tower with arms.

Bjanri - PN : 7:44 - 7:45

I didn't catch it, sorry.

GM - DF : 7:46 - 7:51

I'm not sure where that view guide…

It'll stay there long enough for you.

Bjanri - PN : 7:52 - 7:58

It keeps cutting out with your Christmas decorations. Oh, okay, now I sort of see it.

Fria - HT : 7:58 - 8:01

It looks just like a tower. Tower with arms.

Bjanri - PN : 8:04 - 8:07

It's like the Tin Man, except it's gargantuan and made of stone.

Fria - HT : 8:08 - 8:28

Can I ask a question? This tower was standing beside the castle, effectively being a tower of the castle, and it's ripped itself from the walls and come lumbering towards us. It hasn't by any chance left an opening in the walls, has it?

GM - DF : 8:29 - 8:30

There's a big door there, yes.

Fria - HT : 8:31 - 8:34

There's a big door behind it. So it was blocking the door?

GM - DF : 8:35 - 8:35

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 8:37 - 8:48

Ah, okay, so it was blocking the door and it wasn't like it's left a large gaping hole with passages going in and a little doorway under the courtyard.

GM - DF : 8:50 - 8:55

I haven't been home.

I'm going to make the next roll. Int mod plus a level.

Fria - HT : 8:56 - 9:37

Hang on.

Int mod plus level. Golly. Finding my dice.

Waking up a little and the roll is 11. Int mod… Come on.

Int mod is 5.16 plus my level, that's 36. Why would there be a door? Illusion?

GM - DF : 9:38 - 9:42

Well, the door's not actually on the ground. It's above the ground.

Fria - HT : 9:43 - 10:01

What do you mean, a door?

As in, it's pulled away and there's something there which looks like there would be a big armoured gate or whatever. Yes, that strikes me as stupid, but yes, I may have to go and investigate that. That's in a second or two.

Wulf - PB : 10:01 - 10:04

So is that a yay or a nay for the cold damage?

Fria - HT : 10:05 - 10:17

Yes, as far as I can tell, you can do the cold damage. Alright. I mean, it probably depends whether it actually casts cold on the creature or not.

Wulf - PB : 10:18 - 10:32

It's on the weapon, isn't it, so… 28… 56…

70… Did I take off 8, did you say?

Fria - HT : 10:32 - 10:33

For each hit.

Wulf - PB : 10:34 - 10:40

Yep. 70… 24…

50… 46 damage.

Fria - HT : 10:56 - 11:59

OK, let's go. Right, first thing that happens is, you're within 10ft of it, aren't you, Chet? Yep.

An energy wave comes out, DC30 will save to the gate. DC30? Yep.

Wow.

Bjanri - PN : 12:05 - 12:10

OK. Here we go.

Fria - HT : 12:11 - 13:04

No, don't roll that. Made it. Bloody hell.

You are not slow. That's nice. Second thing that happens…

You know all those kind of rocky kind of smash marks where you've been pummeling it and Isindel's been hitting it with arrows and stuff? They kind of like magically re-form and it heals itself. Do we see anything casting a spell upon that?

Completely. Holy fuck. Can we get a chance to see if there's a spell cast on him?

I think there's a good spot rolled from anyone who might be looking in that general direction. That's exactly what I'm looking for.

GM - DF : 13:07 - 13:08

Isindel's looking at the creature.

Fria - HT : 13:09 - 13:21

It may not be a good spot, but it's a spot. It's only 29. No, that's not going to be enough.

35? 35, possibly. Anybody else?

Wulf - PB : 13:21 - 13:26

Isindel only gets 29. Dionysus is looking at the thing.

Fria - HT : 13:27 - 14:45

Yeah, gestics with your pertinaturally absurd eyeballs. Pertinaturally? Pre-erect nipples and everything.

Do you mean preternaturally? Preternaturally. As in pret-a-manger.

Do you see a mystical glow as if a spell was cast through one of the arrow slits? Just point out which one, gestics. It's that one over there.

You can be my artillery spotter. Third from the left. Second floor.

She makes a run for it. But she doesn't see me point and she doesn't hear me say that because it's all psychic. She thinks she's cast an almost indetectable spell.

GM - DF : 14:47 - 14:52

Is this person growing? Because otherwise that's a lot of ground to cover for somebody so little.

Fria - HT : 14:56 - 15:01

If you've been basically miniaturised, does that go down? Yes.

Bjanri - PN : 15:01 - 15:02

Typically yes.

Fria - HT : 15:05 - 15:34

Even though it looks like cockroaches scurry quickly, I can do a round of movement in a step. Which they would take 15 times longer to do. They've only got equal legs.

I would have thought she would have come straight for Wolf because she knows who Wolf is and he killed him last time. I might change my mind depending on how fast she can actually move.

Wulf - PB : 15:41 - 15:42

Wolf doesn't remember this so it doesn't count.

Fria - HT : 15:57 - 16:07

I can't see anything telling me that the base size of creatures affects their speed. What matters is their speed. To me it makes sense.

Wulf - PB : 16:19 - 16:23

It depends how small she is. Oh she's titchy.

Fria - HT : 16:23 - 17:07

She was quarter of an inch wide. Can I point out that I am small and I have had the slowest base move in Christendom. Everyone's always waiting for me to catch up.

A toad has a five foot move. Although a weasel has 20. Weasels can run.

But she's significantly smaller than a weasel. Snakes are quite fast too. Ravens can pop 10 foot but fly to 40.

Wulf - PB : 17:10 - 17:14

Yeah that sort of makes sense. But ravens are somewhat bigger than this person.

Fria - HT : 17:16 - 17:52

I'm trying to think if I can turn into anything that small. I can't at the moment. A tiny lizard can go 20.

Table lizards are bloody fast. I think 20 seems like a reasonable number. I've just moved what is run for a 20.

I have got a move of 5. You do have. You have raised a very good point.

I have forgotten that she really hates 4.

Wulf - PB : 17:57 - 18:04

It's mutual but it's not. Who are you? Why are you trying to kill me?

Fria - HT : 18:07 - 18:33

She will. Yeah she gets to you. She charges straight at you.

She can't charge. Because she can't go back through the cage. It's full of poison gas.

She has to go round the cage. Okay. So there's an itsy bitsy little version of her there.

And you can probably run the distance but you can't charge. Because you can't go straight by.

Wulf - PB : 18:37 - 18:39

The question is has a wolf noticed her?

Fria - HT : 18:40 - 19:17

Only when it stabs you in the foot. Or when your illusions disappears. Yeah.

Right so anything else going to happen? Can the tower golem hit me as well as doing it's blast? That was a very good point.

As a free action every other round. So yes. Enjoy.

This is going to be a slug fest. It's going to be painful because he's going to hit you twice.

Wulf - PB : 19:29 - 19:31

Don't forget you've still got inspire courage.

Fria - HT : 19:35 - 20:04

47. Yeah yeah. 48.

Yeah. Yeah that would have hit me even if I had smite going. Anyone got rock to mud?

No. I've got the stone shape but I'm not sure whether that will work.

Wulf - PB : 20:09 - 20:11

There's one way to find out.

Fria - HT : 20:11 - 21:02

I know. It doesn't have any feet at all. It's got two feet.

It should have power. It should really have power. Well no that implies that it's intelligent enough to actually utilise that kind of stuff in combat.

It's just a golem. 26. For the first.

And. 29. 26.

26 and 29. So 10 off of each. 60.

And 19. 75 points of damage. How do we dice it?

Right so. Ammonstutz is currently flying about isn't he?

GM - DF : 21:02 - 21:39

He is. He's back here. Right.

Well first off the Grebeley can have some damage. The unicorn Grebeley can take some acid damage but I think it's immune to acid damage isn't it?

Fria - HT : 21:39 - 21:39

Yeah.

GM - DF : 21:40 - 21:43

He also hasn't been out so we'll ignore that for now.

Fria - HT : 21:46 - 21:55

Yep immune to acid. Which is probably trying to kick the horse's cage.

GM - DF : 22:30 - 22:35

Gets out his stuff. And incinerates the.

Wulf - PB : 22:36 - 22:43

Thing a bit more. I don't think I've got anything. That's going to help the golem.

No.

GM - DF : 23:01 - 23:09

Yeah he's going to fireball but it's not for evacuation from the. What's it?

Fria - HT : 23:09 - 23:09

Unicorn.

GM - DF : 23:10 - 23:11

Thank you.

Fria - HT : 23:18 - 23:19

Reflexes.

GM - DF : 23:21 - 23:26

Yeah so immediately 23. Reflex.

Wulf - PB : 23:28 - 23:29

20.

Fria - HT : 23:31 - 23:33

It gets a 29.

Wulf - PB : 23:36 - 23:38

Okay so it takes 11.

Fria - HT : 23:47 - 24:13

53 points taken. Alright. Together to give me a round of speed.

You got marmalade sandwich. Ha ha. And then a 13 point power attack with my adamantine glove.

Bjanri - PN : 24:17 - 24:28

That's going to sting a bit. Bastard. Right here we go.

Fria - HT : 24:28 - 24:45

Right that's a 40. A 28. A 26.

A 15. And a 21.

Bjanri - PN : 24:46 - 24:46

15 is a no.

Fria - HT : 24:48 - 25:53

Alrighty. Does adamantine overcome hardness? Normally.

Overcomes 20 points of hardness. Yep I think so. So you bypass that as well.

Okay are you ready for the punishment? Just add it all up because it's got nothing anyway. Blow number 1 does 58 points of damage.

Blow number 2 does 50, no 60 points of damage. Blow number 3 does 59 points of damage. And blow number 4 does 57 points of damage.

Good god that's going to sting. So that's 200. It's more than 200.

Jestix - TE : 25:54 - 25:57

So that's 240 minus.

Fria - HT : 25:58 - 26:16

232. Yeah. No 236.

Because effectively across all those you averaged 58. It's 4. 236.

Bjanri - PN : 26:21 - 26:23

Well. Well.

Fria - HT : 26:30 - 27:37

Do I crunch a gear or two? Yes. Uh oh he's looking up special things on a golem.

59, 57. I wonder if it's got a. And 60.

So it's all. Self destruct mechanism. No.

But as it collapses to the ground. Any opponent within 20 feet that is huge or smaller must make a reflexes 30. Or get crushed.

Or get crushed. Okay. Here we go.

Basically the entire part. Natural 20 will do it. Ground that is I would think.

How close? 20 feet. 200 feet.

200 feet. Yeah. Bounce off the walls and come back like a tidal wave.

Wulf - PB : 27:37 - 27:39

Explode outwards does it?

Fria - HT : 27:40 - 28:03

It's just all the stone has fallen to the ground and caused a mini earthquake. 200 feet is a huge area effect. I know you realise that.

It does appear to be too large. That's what it does say. Maybe there's some extra magic in there.

I doubt it.

Wulf - PB : 28:04 - 28:05

I think it explodes.

Fria - HT : 28:07 - 30:28

It must be what it does. Kaboom. I make it with a natural 20.

I make it. Henry doesn't. Isndael makes it.

I'm just going to roll the damage. For simplicity. You got hit by a rubble wave.

I wonder how many hundred thousand gold pieces that took to build. It took you three rounds to take it out. 24 points of damage to anyone who was stupid enough to actually not dodge out of the way of a rock.

So we'll have to say Amnesty and Isndael, Freya are in fact. High enough out of the way? No, because the rocks just…

Explode out. Explode out of the way, which also means that Vala Vech might also get hit. Yep, at the same time.

And she does die. The only one who's probably safe is the unicorn. The unicorn.

Does it even hit people 30 feet up? It explodes out. And would it collapse down and spread across the ground?

Is there anyone on the ground? Well, no, that was my… And I waited until it was an explosion, so rocks got everywhere.

I know that was bad for you, but… That's OK. It's more realistic.

I hit the fusion flower plant. What did I say, 24, was it? Yep.

She's taken 24. Is there a dodge or is there a… Reflex.

Reflex 30. The black guards get round hands. Should do.

Should do. I don't, so I take the 24. It's not listed in her abilities.

She should have done some by now.

Bjanri - PN : 30:59 - 31:01

Where are…

Fria - HT : 31:01 - 32:08

Has she returned to her real size? Not yet. Oh.

Because it looked like the figure had got bigger. No. They get sneak attack.

That should have made a difference at the moment. OK, so it explodes because you just basically elementined it to death. I destabilised its magical structure.

Bjanri - PN : 32:08 - 32:16

Ha ha ha! Kaboom.

Fria - HT : 32:20 - 32:25

Amongst the rubble in front of you, Bjorni, there is a halfling.

Bjanri - PN : 32:26 - 32:27

A halfling?

Fria - HT : 32:31 - 32:35

Aha. Who can… On board his saving throne.

Bjanri - PN : 32:37 - 32:38

Oh dear.

Fria - HT : 32:38 - 32:44

Was he the controller? Well, he's got a pointy hat and everything, yes.

Bjanri - PN : 32:46 - 32:47

Do we recognise him?

Fria - HT : 32:48 - 33:05

No, Bjorni won't. And you're not really… Oh, actually, super spotty person, Mike.

I recognise a certain halfling who causes us a lot of grief. And we got the Book of Golem production from him.

Wulf - PB : 33:06 - 33:07

Oh yeah.

Fria - HT : 33:08 - 33:28

That was ages ago. When you eventually do get to see, yes, it is Kastor. 43.

Yes, you recognise immediately that hobbit from level 2 in the dungeon. She's spared no corpse, has she?

GM - DF : 33:31 - 33:37

Dave, can I have a hit point cap for Fanbeam?

Fria - HT : 33:38 - 33:39

Sorry, for what?

GM - DF : 33:40 - 33:40

Fanbeam.

Fria - HT : 33:42 - 33:46

Oh, yeah, OK. Yes, he's possible, he's been hurt, hasn't he?

GM - DF : 33:46 - 33:52

He did. That's why I'm asking for it. Along with Atom.

Fria - HT : 33:53 - 34:02

I've still got his Wand of Burning Hands. I have a new 5th level when we took him out.

Bjanri - PN : 34:07 - 34:07

15.

Fria - HT : 34:09 - 34:25

I never got the hobbit's name. Oh, it's Chastor the Wizard. His name is Chastor, isn't it?

Not Chastise the Wizard. He's been Chastised now.

Bjanri - PN : 34:36 - 34:40

Damn you, Chastor! We'll kill you again!

GM - DF : 34:52 - 34:53

Thank you.

Fria - HT : 34:54 - 35:10

Happy with it there. It's now locked. Max 44.

Quite good, isn't it?

Wulf - PB : 35:10 - 35:11

It was great, she said.

Fria - HT : 35:14 - 35:40

Right, so, yes, Golem explodes. The halfling who was… Driving.

…controlling it and casting Rock to Mud, which heals it, is now splat. So, the, what do you call it, that's where the spell came from? No.

Wulf - PB : 35:41 - 35:44

Yeah. I thought the spell came from the Crenlations.

Fria - HT : 35:46 - 35:54

He said the halfling was in the Crenlations. Oh, the Crenlations of the Tower. I thought you meant of the castle.

No, no, no, no. The Tower Golem.

Wulf - PB : 35:55 - 35:57

Oh, oh.

GM - DF : 36:05 - 36:06

We understand.

Fria - HT : 36:09 - 37:02

Yes, he thought he was well protected. He was. Paddington gets out his extra special marmalade sandwich and gives him a full stare.

I won't see Paddington through me. Oh dear. Yeah, Freya.

I cast a spell at the Hobbit. He's fine. Yes, OK.

What are you going to do to him? Evil Mind. Where's the DC on that?

His dead body fails its saving. Oh, it's dead. It's dead, is it?

Sorry, I thought you said it was in the city.

Bjanri - PN : 37:02 - 37:03

It might not have known that.

Fria - HT : 37:03 - 39:50

It's crashed by his own castle. Ah. Might I have known it?

Well, the fact he's lying there slumped on the floor. OK, then I… Not necessarily.

You spotted him amongst the rubble. Ruins. OK, in which case I…

Well, I'll burn the spell, but what I actually want to do is just draw… I'm going to chuck a scroll at… Probably…

Yeah, I'll throw a spell in Amon Stute's direction and I'll zoom towards the hole where the tower was left. So, whatever my movement as a tiny flying sprite is. Amon Stute is like a whole move away from you.

Yeah, you can't throw him something. Well, you can. It'll just land on the ground somewhere.

You're very small, so you throw your little scroll. He's up in the air, isn't he? Yeah.

In which case, I won't bother. We've got a scroll of heal if anyone needs it. How much can I move as a sprite?

That's an interesting thought. Probably fly 20 or something, I suspect. It's their flying speed.

I'm just looking up a D&D sprite online. Give me a sec. Age, sprites, monsters…

5th edition sprite might not be exactly right. But it says the move is… Come on, fill in the bloody thing.

40 foot fly, 10 foot walk. So, I shall fly 40 feet… 40 feet…

Can I fly quickly if I'm doing nothing else? Zoom? OK, then that's it.

Right, so, justice. Me and Henry will go and attack the Blackguard. As it's there, and it's mini.

Let's see what this can do. Inverse giant killer. Four!

GM - DF : 39:54 - 39:56

And thus the game of golf was invented.

Fria - HT : 40:01 - 40:21

Erm… That's a 31 to hit. Miss.

Miss? Well, her armour class was pretty close to that even before she was small.

Jestix - TE : 40:24 - 40:25

Oops.

Fria - HT : 40:29 - 42:08

And Henry gets a… He misses as well. What's the size table?

Where is that? That's not very useful, is it? In the 3.5 player's handbook, it's got a nice picture of all the scaled sizes things. And also their size movement and stuff, but doesn't actually have the armour class mod on the same table. It might be worth looking at… Shrink animal.

Yeah, it's going to be like 8. It's going to be 4 or 8. Which is more than 8.

Anyway. So, you both miss. And she evilly cackles at you.

Unhelp yourself. You can only just hear it.

Bjanri - PN : 42:11 - 42:11

Wolf.

GM - DF : 42:13 - 42:19

Wolf looks down at the tiny figure going… We're talking sort of the…

Fria - HT : 42:19 - 42:30

Yeah, we're talking like in… What's the museum thing? Museum thing.

Night at the museum. Night at the museum.

GM - DF : 42:31 - 42:34

I'm going to pick her up with my thumb and forefinger.

Fria - HT : 42:35 - 42:46

That would be a grapple attack, wouldn't it? Yes. And you have to…

I think she gets a really big negative on her grapple now, doesn't she? Yeah.

GM - DF : 42:57 - 43:02

I rolled an 8. Do I make an attack roll or do I make a grapple check?

Fria - HT : 43:02 - 43:08

You grapple check. Yeah. Oh, technically you do need to make a touch attack.

Yeah.

GM - DF : 43:09 - 43:15

A touch attack. Okay, so… I get…

Fria - HT : 43:15 - 43:18

I'm assuming the size mod goes on to your touch.

GM - DF : 43:23 - 43:28

Probably. That makes sense. Well, I get a 36.

Fria - HT : 43:29 - 43:47

Okay, you touched her. So then you have to make a grapple check. Versus her.

Vastly reduced grapple. Yeah, which is… Right, so she did have a grapple of 20.

But it's probably going to be 16 now, or something like that.

GM - DF : 43:48 - 43:49

I get 38.

Fria - HT : 43:50 - 44:03

So unless she gets 20, which she does not get… You have successfully grabbed her. No, bite her head off.

No, you can't do that yet. Unless you've got an improved grapple…

GM - DF : 44:03 - 44:14

I'm not Aussie, you know. I pick her up and look her in the eye. Stop that.

Who are you? What are you?

Fria - HT : 44:15 - 44:31

So that's my answer for this round. She's got smite running against you. That may not make any difference, though.

No. It will make a difference when she comes to strike him.

Wulf - PB : 44:33 - 44:34

Is there a picture of this person?

Fria - HT : 44:37 - 44:47

I don't think we ever did have a picture of her. She's too small for you, I wish to point out. She's not your size.

GM - DF : 44:47 - 44:52

I want to know if I can say, aren't you cute, or not.

Fria - HT : 44:55 - 45:01

She's a dead black guard. I don't think cute comes into it. Charisma of 22.

GM - DF : 45:03 - 45:09

Maybe she's good at public speaking, that's all. She can be cute if you want her to be cute.

Fria - HT : 45:09 - 45:20

She's cute, yeah. Oh God, I think… She's got that evil prettiness about her.

I think the sort of thing that Wulff quite likes.

GM - DF : 45:20 - 45:28

Oh, aren't you cute? I say Wulff probably… Wulff says it's probably inflaming and annoying her just a little bit more.

Fria - HT : 45:41 - 45:44

OK. So, background's the beginning of the round. Isndell.

GM - DF : 45:48 - 46:09

She will scan the area for threats and move slightly away from this lot, so… She's looking for people lurking in the castle or about to come out or are there any other threats? Perceptive.

Fria - HT : 46:09 - 46:50

So, I think realistically the only thing that's going to happen is she might make an escape artist check against you. Can she turn back to a normal size at will? She will.

Or does she have to outlast the potion? That's a good question, I don't know. Because turning back into a real size will break the grip.

GM - DF : 46:51 - 46:52

It will, yeah.

Fria - HT : 46:52 - 46:54

He's there. Finger and forefinger.

Wulf - PB : 47:01 - 47:03

Or… Ooh, I don't know how my hand got there.

Fria - HT : 47:05 - 47:08

Followed by stab. Get your hand out of there.

Wulf - PB : 47:15 - 47:18

You wouldn't want to be known as Wulff Alpha Edge now.

GM - DF : 47:34 - 47:39

Alpha Edge being compared to Jimmy Saville. Never good.

Fria - HT : 47:49 - 48:40

Polymorph doesn't say it modifies your speed. Did you know, Pete? Mr. Nash, Pete?

That if you're polymorphed because you're a shapeshifter you can convert back to your natural form at will. Yes, I do remember that. Even if you've got polymorph cast on you.

By somebody else. By someone else.

GM - DF : 48:42 - 48:44

Difficult to turn him into a toad for very long.

Fria - HT : 48:44 - 48:55

Yeah. Well, as far as I can see this spell doesn't come to an end. What, the bell for polymorph?

No, it doesn't.

GM - DF : 48:57 - 48:59

Or the reduced person or whatever.

Fria - HT : 48:59 - 49:18

She polymorphed herself somehow. Well, if it's like the spell, it's got a duration. Yes, so that will last its duration.

What else could she do? She can't just do that. But she can try to escape you.

So you've picked her up and… Nothing yet.

Jestix - TE : 49:19 - 49:20

That was his action.

Fria - HT : 49:20 - 51:20

Picked her up. She's going to try to stab you. Stick her.

Yes. Picked her up. So she's going to stab you.

She could stab you and put a blade underneath your thumbnail. And she stabs you with her steely knives. Technically, in the past, if you were grappled you could only use a small weapon.

She will use as small as she's got. It's just small for her, not necessarily small. They're going to get nasty scratch.

Yes. Because the size didn't swell, the weapon has actually been dropped probably to a D2 or something. But the smite will just kill you.

Kaboom. You're good, aren't you? Yes.

So she is continuing her smite, which gives her the chance to stab you. And a charisma bonus to hit. And level 2 damage.

Did she get double damage against sluts? Or suckers. He wants it.

He's begging for it. Yes, he's begging for it. Dagging for it, mate.

Dagging for it. Thirteen one plus. Is there a size mark difference as well?

I think only to reducing your strength damage modifier.

GM - DF : 51:21 - 51:36

Yes, so you get a plus 2, well, per level drop, plus 2 size bonus to dex, minus 2 size penalty to strength, and a plus 1 bonus on attack rolls and AC due to your reduced size.

Fria - HT : 51:38 - 52:02

So she'll get, what, minus 2 to strength. That's per level. Sorry, minus 2 bonus.

Plus size chance. That actually is about equal to what her smite is. So she still hits you for 41.

Ouch.

GM - DF : 52:03 - 52:05

Is that AC 41 or 41?

Fria - HT : 52:05 - 52:07

Yes, AC 41 with her first stab.

GM - DF : 52:08 - 52:19

OK. I'm going to say that I can't reasonably use my shield at this point. Yeah, sure.

Not that that would have made any difference.

Fria - HT : 52:20 - 52:47

28 with her second. No, that will miss. And 29 with her third.

Just miss. Plus two misses, yeah? Two misses.

Only one hit. Now, this is where the interesting magic smite is going to cause all the damage, because the weapon is… Look, it's drawn a bit of blood.

Bjanri - PN : 52:47 - 52:48

Oh, that hurts.

Fria - HT : 52:49 - 52:58

You're going to be stabbed by a pin by a 10th level blackguard. That's going to drop by…

Bjanri - PN : 52:58 - 52:59

You're going to dismiss the deadliness of a blackguard.

Fria - HT : 52:59 - 53:53

Actually, it's pretty much the same. It's going to work out the same. So, 13 points of damage.

Ooh. You bitch. And I thought she actually did something.

13, I shall think. Plus poison, plus level drain. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Oh, and it's a smite attack. Is it a sneak attack? No.

No. Do you get your dex if you're grappling somebody? Probably not.

No, you don't. Technically. Technically.

She can't technically sneak, because he's completely off. No, you just have to make sure that your opponent can't use their dex modifier. Yeah, it's written like that, unfortunately.

Wulf - PB : 53:55 - 54:02

Wolfen might be immune to that particular one, because he's barbarian. Oh, you've got uncanny dodge.

GM - DF : 54:03 - 54:03

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 54:05 - 54:22

Does that count when you're actually holding it? I don't know. Well, I suspect, by the rules, it can't be done.

You'll get another 9 points when you figure that out. Yeah, and she's got poison, so you'll need to make a fortitude save.

GM - DF : 54:23 - 54:33

Characters retain their dex, Mr. Armor Class, even if they're caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, they still lose their dex bonus.

Jestix - TE : 54:33 - 54:35

Isn't there a minimum bonus?

GM - DF : 54:36 - 54:38

Which doesn't really cover any of these.

Fria - HT : 54:41 - 55:20

Given what it says there, it implies that you don't lose it in the same way that sneak attack implies that she does get a sneak attack because you've lost your dex. Isn't there a volume consideration on poison? It doesn't matter.

He could have been hit by a metal. It doesn't matter. He's got Hero's Feast, so he's immune to poison.

Yeah, cool. She doesn't know. So, something like a DC 27 fortitude save?

What the frick is she using? I want some of that.

Wulf - PB : 55:23 - 55:24

Paladin's everywhere, eh?

Fria - HT : 55:25 - 55:37

No, no, no, Robin. I'd kill some more people for a DC 27 poison. You don't need to make a save, do you?

No. No.

Wulf - PB : 55:39 - 55:45

He's poisoned at the moment. So, how much damage was that, Dave?

Fria - HT : 55:45 - 56:23

It was 13, and then plus 9 potentially. Yeah, if you're not for some reason immune to it. For the sneak attack.

How about this? You can avoid sneak attack damage if you reflexively let her go and reapply your dex. I'm kind of dodging her by letting it go.

But if you decide to hold on to her, you get the sneak attack. I'm stabbing you under the fingernail. Throw her up in the air and catch her next round.

No, throw her up in the air and splat her between your hands. You bitch.

Wulf - PB : 56:28 - 56:30

I'll take the extra 9 and hold on to her.

GM - DF : 56:31 - 56:36

I think that thematically is appropriate that you let her go or something like that.

Fria - HT : 56:37 - 57:32

No, if you let her go, I get to play golf. If you don't let her go, you'll lose your fingers when I swing my glaive at her. You'll be under my control.

She squeaks for a moment. The mind-controlling poison thing that she's just injected you with is not going to affect you. He should have the opposite.

He should have an automatically fail mind-affecting thing because it's wolf. Yes. LAUGHTER Is there anything left to fight?

No, so basically we've got Amunstut, Bjorni, Freya, Jestix and then Wolfie wants to do anything. I'm zipping towards the magical door. Or the strange door.

We're here.

GM - DF : 57:36 - 57:38

Amun will probably do something and Wolf will do something.

Fria - HT : 57:41 - 57:47

Bjorni will do something. And Jestix will do something. Put her down.

I want to kill her.

GM - DF : 57:48 - 57:49

Just a minute.

Fria - HT : 57:51 - 59:26

Bjorni picks up the hobbit corpse by one ankle and waves it and looks around for Freya. Does someone want to loot this? Yeah, put it with the others.

I'll be back in a moment. I think there's a door over here. I want to take down this sheep.

There's a big door here. Yeah. A big little door?

No, a portcullis door. Yeah. There's an illusory door where the tower was.

Before they were fried. Yeah, but where the tower was. There was a door basically into the tower.

Which is not there anymore. Sort of about there. And it says there was a door.

It looked weird to me as I looked at it. Well, the reason why it's weird is why would you have a door into what is obviously a golem? Because it was being driven by a gnome.

Or an elf or whatever. Hobbit. It was his home.

But it does actually give you another way into the… That's why I'm rushing over to check. He locked the door after himself.

Yes, it's a shut portcullis. When you eventually get there. So, back to what's going to take seconds.

Paul, what are you going to do with that?

Wulf - PB : 59:27 - 59:29

Well, first of all…

GM - DF : 59:29 - 59:40

Or just it. Well… Just trying to figure out the best way of dealing with this.

Running great unicorn.

Fria - HT : 59:41 - 59:44

Leave it be. He can't get out of the box at the moment.

GM - DF : 59:45 - 59:46

How long does a box last for?

Wulf - PB : 59:47 - 59:47

Hours.

Fria - HT : 59:47 - 59:48

32 hours or something.

Wulf - PB : 59:49 - 59:50

Nearly ignoring it.

Fria - HT : 59:50 - 59:59

At least until tomorrow. Leave Twinkie alone. We are, that's the whole point.

Wulf - PB : 1:00:01 - 1:00:04

I want to upgrade my…

GM - DF : 1:00:05 - 1:00:16

He's a bad unicorn, he is. Upgrade my grapple to a pin. So that I've got her firmly held tight.

So she can't do bugger all.

Fria - HT : 1:00:17 - 1:00:23

Another opposed grapple check, please. Natural one.

Wulf - PB : 1:00:25 - 1:00:29

More than that. OK.

GM - DF : 1:00:29 - 1:00:36

I wrap my hand around her so she can't wriggle. Or stand. Good beady look at her.

Bjanri - PN : 1:00:38 - 1:00:44

Who are you? She's the bitch.

GM - DF : 1:00:44 - 1:00:58

Tarla Vetch. Tarla Vetch. Why are you so angry?

You know… With those cheekbones, you look kind of pretty. But still.

You're a freak.

Fria - HT : 1:00:59 - 1:01:13

Don't you remember? Like three months ago. You went and raided my house.

Me and my mate. That's true. What's it says?

What's its tip?

GM - DF : 1:01:14 - 1:01:18

I have to say I've done a lot of raiding and pillaging. In the last three months.

Fria - HT : 1:01:18 - 1:01:21

It was Terrigal's Tower. Terrigal's Tower.

Wulf - PB : 1:01:24 - 1:01:26

Right. Weren't you trying to summon up something horrible there?

Fria - HT : 1:01:29 - 1:02:13

I was only doing the right things. You know. I can't let you get on my…

Following Metorak. Not Metorak, sorry. Following Rivenik.

Doing the Lord's work. Oh, you're a Rivenik worshipper. Just bite her head off and get on with it.

And the… Oh, you're a holy warrior, Rivenik. I'd better say so.

And get her to agree to be banished. I can do all sorts of good things for you. You can do all sorts of eyebrows, can't you?

Can you? You're a bit on the small side. Oh, when I get bigger.

Really? When I get bigger, you'll get bigger.

GM - DF : 1:02:15 - 1:02:23

There's a… A muffled cough. And…

And bollocks coming from Isindel. Which we'll heartily ignore.

Fria - HT : 1:02:25 - 1:02:33

Oh, no. Is she jealous? I hope so.

Because you'll come in and shoot her. Out of your hand. Possibly through your hand.

GM - DF : 1:02:36 - 1:02:45

No, no. Not jealous. Just, you know.

It's one of those things you get in your past.

Fria - HT : 1:02:47 - 1:02:54

I could become good for the bright, strong man. You could win me over.

GM - DF : 1:02:54 - 1:03:00

Well, I don't like to underplay my rod of conversion. I'd say you might win me over.

Fria - HT : 1:03:05 - 1:03:31

Gross. Don't you mean gross? I think you're in.

I think you're in. I think he's in something. He has to have a permanent curse now that he will always fail any will save when it comes to a sexy, attractive, evil bitch.

GM - DF : 1:03:34 - 1:03:36

Not always. Because that would be, you know, boring.

Fria - HT : 1:03:38 - 1:03:41

But you do anyway, so what's the point?

GM - DF : 1:03:42 - 1:04:11

That's true. So, yeah. I mean, you go and get yourself raised by this Deirdre Druidy woman.

Druidy Deirdre. To have another go. So, Rivendick's running around scared in some weird-ass place away from Metarack.

Overall…

Fria - HT : 1:04:11 - 1:04:12

That's only temporary.

GM - DF : 1:04:13 - 1:04:24

Only temporary, is it? Yeah. What are you going to do?

Come and kick over Metarack, are you? So that your boss can have a good time?

Fria - HT : 1:04:26 - 1:04:33

I am sure that Rivendick and Metarack are very good friends and that they will help each other.

GM - DF : 1:04:36 - 1:04:53

I can lie better than that. Foof looks up. As if seeing the rest of you for the first time.

So, what do we do with this one?

Fria - HT : 1:04:55 - 1:05:24

Well, at some point she's going to turn back into a real science and then she's going to try and kill you. You think? Yes.

That's what she did last time. That's what she's going to do now. She's a…

She's a undead paladin. Foof's been a very naughty boy and I will punish you. Over and over again.

Flutters your eyelashes at you.

GM - DF : 1:05:25 - 1:05:42

I had to say no to the vampire lady after I found out she was a vampire. And I had to say no to you after I found out that you're a holy warrior of Rivendick. The world is not right.

Fria - HT : 1:05:45 - 1:05:54

But didn't you just say that nothing overcomes your rod of conversion? Are you going to give it a shot first?

Wulf - PB : 1:05:56 - 1:05:57

That is true.

Fria - HT : 1:05:58 - 1:06:14

No, you're not going to give it a shot first because she's going to turn back into a real science and she's going to stab you in the back at the first opportunity. Which will literally be… Enjoy yourself first.

No, she might get you raised from the dead afterwards and then enjoy herself.

Wulf - PB : 1:06:17 - 1:06:22

My friends seem to be somewhat divided in their opinion of what to do with you.

Fria - HT : 1:06:23 - 1:06:40

Give her to me and I'll just chew her into little bits. Banish her. She can't come back.

I've never tried smiting something I was eating. How do you banish her? She's from this plane.

GM - DF : 1:06:49 - 1:06:57

Turn towards the bear so that she can see the bear and his huge teeth. I want to see if her expression changes. If she shows any kind of remorse.

Fria - HT : 1:06:57 - 1:07:34

I'll open my jaws menacingly and allow saliva to drool off my fangs and try to make an intimidate roll. And Henry can do it from the other side. We're moving away because at some point this polymorph spell will wear off and I want a chance to be not close when that happens.

Wow. Am I at the door yet? That would be a 47.

She's pretty good at intimidate but she's not quite that good.

Bjanri - PN : 1:07:39 - 1:07:49

Yum yum. Do you taste some marmalade? Yes.

GM - DF : 1:08:02 - 1:08:07

We've got a holy warrior as well. He's bigger than you. A lot bigger.

Fria - HT : 1:08:20 - 1:08:41

You're getting a plus four on your intimidate check for every size category larger than you are than you actually are. Wow. That would be what did I say?

47. Yeah. 57.

59.

Wulf - PB : 1:08:43 - 1:08:49

My tongue comes rolling out.

Fria - HT : 1:09:03 - 1:09:31

I think I think she's immune. She for a moment looked worried then remembers it doesn't matter she's saved. From her perspective.

And then she'll try to intimidate you with her like minus 16 at the moment.

Bjanri - PN : 1:09:32 - 1:09:33

Mew.

Fria - HT : 1:09:34 - 1:09:48

And you think actually her intimidate would have been quite good but she's titchy and immune because I'm blessed to I think there's a bit of a stare off.

GM - DF : 1:09:49 - 1:10:05

I don't think I'm capable of making a rational decision says Wolf regretfully and passes his hand towards the bear. Do with her as you see fit. Free her or eat her.

Fria - HT : 1:10:08 - 1:11:30

Crunch crunch crunch. I will hold her firmly in my paw do a detect evil. Oh yes.

Oh dear. And then squish her like a zip. Smite and then pop her in my jaws and chew which could backfire on me quite spectacularly.

Well she's going to smite you back. That's fine. I'll get the first bite.

Urgh. Do paladins count as double? I don't think they do get double.

I don't think there's an I mean it's a logical thing that should be but I don't think the rules say that. No I don't think so. Was she a form of undead?

I think she probably is now. No. Well no because she was we killed her before so she was raised.

GM - DF : 1:11:31 - 1:11:33

Yeah but she can be raised and not be undead.

Fria - HT : 1:11:35 - 1:13:07

I think we just left the bodies behind which is all you put. I'm going full scorched earth next time. Yes.

The only ones you didn't effectively leave behind was the orc army where you burnt them all. Remember that? Oopsie.

Sorry. Because she were worried that they were going to be raised and in fact they were all going to be raised. In James's campaign I raised them, the hags raised them.

Right so first it's going to be a bite attack even though she's inside my mouth. That would be a 39 to hit. Depending on what the effect of size makes to your armor class you probably just crush her within her armor.

Crush her armor. Well she's inside my mouth so I'm trying to chew her to death.

Bjanri - PN : 1:13:10 - 1:13:11

Oh blimey.

Fria - HT : 1:13:13 - 1:13:41

So I think it should be a touch attack. True. Well should it be a touch attack?

Put a lead mini inside your mouth.

Jestix - TE : 1:13:43 - 1:13:45

Yeah but there's magic in it.

Fria - HT : 1:13:45 - 1:16:49

But without the lead preferably. Well she definitely shouldn't have any decks if she had any. Because she's scrapped.

We've scrapped the two Royal Navy ships. I thought it was already as small as it was going to go. It would be fairly useless.

The Royal Navy's going to have nothing left. Her AC at the moment is 38. 38?

Oh sorry. What do you get for smite? Plus charisma.

So she loses a deck so that would make it 37. But she will gain her charisma mod which will make it 42. She's got a base charisma of 37.

Wait a minute. Before smite bonus. What the hell do you get?

What else? Her charisma mod isn't actually added on to her armor. So it's tied.

How do you get a charisma that high? I'm obviously not trying. Forget her charisma bonus.

How does she have a base armor class of 37? No. She had a base armor class of 30 but she lost her decks and gained her size mod.

But her size mod shouldn't count in this case because she's grappled. Or pinned in fact. Her size mod does count.

Even though you're pinned. Really? That's ludicrous.

If I'm trying to hit her when she's external I would agree. But she's not. She's inside my mouth.

Doesn't matter. She's going to die one way or another. She's going to die getting chewed up.

I would suggest she's grappled when she's inside your mouth because your tongue effectively pushes her into the teeth. She has no option of where to go and dodge. She gets pushed into the teeth and the teeth don't go through her armor.

That's why I said it should be a touch attack. Her armor could be so immensely strong that your teeth can't crush her.

Jestix - TE : 1:16:49 - 1:16:51

That I would agree with.

Fria - HT : 1:16:52 - 1:20:31

I said the man who broke a filling earlier today. I'd completely agree if it was just sort of armor and magical… She's got plate on and she's got natural armor.

Those, yes, should count, but I don't think her size should. I don't think her deck should. Her charisma should.

Charisma, armor and natural armor should definitely all count. But I do challenge the size. Actually, you're right.

The size shouldn't count because what you're actually hitting her with is your teeth and your tongue which are a similar size to her. You're applying the size mod because of the differential. Size mods should not count anymore once you are grappled.

No, I have a size mod negative to me. If we were disengaged from each other, then yes, of course. The size should definitely count.

But when she's actually within your grasp or whatever, size should no longer count for anything. Size should count when you're making the initial grapple but once you are grappled, size should no longer count for anything. If you're doing a crush or you've basically been put into something's mouth.

It doesn't matter, Dave. I'm quibbling over nothing. If you're pinned, you can suffer sneak attacks.

You can inflict sneak attacks, you mean? Yeah. If you're pinned, it says you can be sneak attacked.

I don't think it's… I think it's reasonable you can do the other one the other way around if you're not pinned but you grapple. I think it's just reasonable to hit someone with a dagger.

I don't think it matters. You're going to get her anyway. You're probably not going to kill her on the first attack.

But you're going to get her close. She's a chewy bitch. I'm going to keep chewing her until she regains her size and then of course I'll have to spit her out.

Or have my head explode. Ooh, that does raise a horrible horrible problem. Which I'm not sure if I should bring up.

Eating her may not be a good move.

Wulf - PB : 1:20:32 - 1:20:34

Well no, I didn't say I was going to swallow her.

Fria - HT : 1:20:36 - 1:21:35

I'm going to say you kill her but she does one lot of damage to you. That's fine. You can worry about the poison.

Because of her size reduction and everything she does 14 points of damage to you. And then you squash her. And then of course she drops to the ground and becomes full-sized I imagine at some point.

I'm at the door. She's been masticated. She's got very large teeth marks which are completely unfeasible.

Wulf - PB : 1:21:36 - 1:21:38

Bianni masticated all over her.

Fria - HT : 1:21:41 - 1:21:59

You get a video like that I think the Japanese have got a word for that. A combination of bestiality, BDSM and what else? Saliva sex?

I'm sure they have a category for that.

Wulf - PB : 1:22:00 - 1:22:00

Dwarf sex?

Fria - HT : 1:22:04 - 1:22:19

Not the disabled midget porn. If I remember rightly you killed her really quickly the first time too. Really cool stuff and you just went flat.

Wulf - PB : 1:22:25 - 1:22:28

I remember going up and down the tower I just don't remember the fight with her.

Fria - HT : 1:22:29 - 1:22:37

And when the tower activated it regenerated her and you fought her on the way out as well. But you just went flat.

Wulf - PB : 1:22:41 - 1:22:48

Good. We were about 6th or 7th I think at the time.

Fria - HT : 1:22:53 - 1:24:23

Right so next. I'm checking out the door Dave. You can see into part of the castle I would think.

Excellent, that's what I want to see. I will have a look and check if there's foes or opposition here. All the other things I didn't actually get on the map.

Nope, the map is not there. Yes, there is a Let's move them up shall we? Take the 4th wall as red.

There's a 4th wall is there? No, the 4th wall around the unicorn. The dome.

Around the unicorn.

GM - DF : 1:25:20 - 1:25:27

I will cast Cure Serious Wounds on you Bjarni.

Wulf - PB : 1:25:29 - 1:25:32

28 back. Plus whatever bonuses you want to add on.

Bjanri - PN : 1:25:36 - 1:25:38

5, so that would be 33.

Fria - HT : 1:25:40 - 1:25:47

We know there's something in the middle of the castle putting up this forcefield. I'm quite keen to find it.

Bjanri - PN : 1:25:52 - 1:25:53

Most appreciated.

Fria - HT : 1:26:25 - 1:26:31

I've just put the tower back so you can see the door.

Wulf - PB : 1:26:33 - 1:26:35

You're taking care of Henry are you?

Fria - HT : 1:26:35 - 1:30:45

A bit, yeah. I've still got some Cure Wounds. The main door here looks into this courtyard here.

Freya's now up here. Checking it out. Looking for traps.

Expecting that the thing will be covered with blades. Yes, there are blades all around but just not that forecasting bit that you're looking for. You're going to have to figure out a way of raising it to get through it.

What's it made of? Iron or something? Probably.

I've got a rusting glove. Yeah, a rusting glove might be fun. I could just disintegrate it and we'll walk through.

I'm very happy if you want to come up here. I'm looking through first. I'm just going to fill in the bit above now.

You probably don't remember much about Cawdor Keep itself, do you? Yeah, I explored it. It was a while back.

Probably 60 days ago. Yeah. But the approximate shape of everything looks like you remember it.

Good, good. Just everything is covered in grass on the floor and bushes everywhere. That's because she's a bloody druid and it gives her ability to do stuff.

Is there anything in there obviously alive or moving? I think it's empty. If there is, obviously I'll do something.

If not, I shall go back and search the bodies as we have. We're looking into this room here. Anybody else in this area?

Yeah? Yeah. You can see a large tree, for example.

What type of tree? Looks like a hawthorn tree to you.

Bjanri - PN : 1:30:45 - 1:30:46

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 1:30:50 - 1:31:28

Permission to blow up the hawthorn tree, Mr. Poe? The room is empty. Apart from Veggie.

Justix, have you any thoughts as to what I should do with a large hawthorn tree, which is our nemesis's means of escape? It's one of her many means of escape. I know.

Can I blow it up? No, what's the point? You destroyed one of her means of escape.

She's got more. I'll just keep doing it. You can't blow up all the plants in this place.

You haven't got enough spells.

Wulf - PB : 1:31:30 - 1:31:34

I can try. How are you underestimating her?

Fria - HT : 1:31:35 - 1:31:52

I don't. How she underestimates the druid in here has put plants everywhere. Oh, exactly.

She's loaded this place with plants and pelts. To say nothing of. When it comes and attacks you, then you can blow it up.

GM - DF : 1:32:00 - 1:32:03

Mr. Justix, Mr. Justix is looking at me funny. Kaboom!

Fria - HT : 1:32:09 - 1:32:35

So, do you want me to destroy the colors and letters all in, or are you going to rust it while I search the pocket? Where he is at the moment, the portcullis isn't at ground level, is it? No, as far as I know, it's sort of…

It's actually halfway up where the tower is. So there's no point destroying it, because we can't all get in that way. Okay.

Bjanri - PN : 1:32:38 - 1:32:41

You can see there's another gate here.

Fria - HT : 1:32:42 - 1:35:37

Is that the main door? Yeah. Could I fly…

Could I go in through the portcullis and down to the gate? Well, actually, you could probably go up, Howard, and over. Let's go up to the gate and open it.

Yes, I could go up over the gate. And actually, the gate didn't close, did it? It's got loads of dead pirates in it.

No, no, no. You can go over to this bit here. Yes, okay.

I can go over to there. Is it open? Is it full of pirates?

This gate is actually open, and there's a sign of other people you vaped as well going through that gate. As well? There were other people as well as the pirates?

You put a spell, like, here. There were people behind there? It was right in the doorway, and there were people behind who got vaped.

You've got everybody in that area. Fantastic stuff. I'm so happy.

Okay, I will check it out, and might as well go through the front door then, guys. If there's any movement, I shall vape them. I might even fly down.

Apart from the singe of the flash burn of the fireball, the place, I mean, it's looks like a serene kind of brand new castle that's been, like, spray-painted with veg, incongruous pot plants stroke plants that have been scattered around. Sounds like a great place. If it wasn't for the evil bint, it would be perfect.

We might inherit it. You know, you've been looking for a place which is good for a druid, haven't you? Britain 4,000 to your liking, this place must be.

Is there anyone… Oh, the pirates. Whilst everyone's coming over, there's pirates and other people.

Who are the others? There's remains of what you think might be other sorts of warrior types. Yeah, okay.

I'll give them a quick once-over whilst everyone arrives. A whole sort of… You know, you think, like, oh, that might have been some kind of Venoman cultist type.

Who's who of what we killed in the past. Yeah. Motley, low-level NPCs that you gratuitously slay.

GM - DF : 1:35:38 - 1:35:40

The odd beast cultist, that sort of thing.

Fria - HT : 1:35:40 - 1:35:54

Well, thank you. You really gave a second bite of the cherry, and I think we did it very neatly this time. A happy bit of looting.

Is Wolf going to come and join us, or are you staying at the back, miles away?

Wulf - PB : 1:35:55 - 1:35:56

No, no, I'm coming to join you.

Fria - HT : 1:35:58 - 1:36:00

If you're all moving up, I'll move to table again, yeah?

GM - DF : 1:36:01 - 1:36:07

Yes. I'll meet you when we're coming with this, I'm taking. See you.

Fria - HT : 1:36:38 - 1:36:46

I seem to have mislaid a frayer.

Wulf - PB : 1:36:49 - 1:36:51

It was all the way over here. Okay.

Fria - HT : 1:36:57 - 1:37:06

And when's your polymorph spell end? Mine? Yeah.

Oh, that's an interesting thought.

Bjanri - PN : 1:37:06 - 1:37:06

It's minutes.

Fria - HT : 1:37:08 - 1:37:12

Yeah, I've got a little bit longer. I'm just checking.

Wulf - PB : 1:37:13 - 1:37:14

Oh, these are one of those as well.

Fria - HT : 1:37:17 - 1:37:18

What, a polymorph, or?

Wulf - PB : 1:37:19 - 1:37:20

No, a height token thing.

Fria - HT : 1:37:21 - 1:37:47

It's one minute per level. And you cast it off to one, so it's whatever's the minimum level. So it's probably in there.

It's also a four, so yeah, it's probably close. You've done all that. I'll land and turn back.

Ordinary frayer. So you've got this kind of like, you know, places where horses would be stored.

Jestix - TE : 1:37:48 - 1:37:48

Stabled.

Fria - HT : 1:37:50 - 1:38:12

No, it's not stablery, it's someone rides up and they've got somewhere to tie on. Okay. That's what this bit of the castle was.

Yeah. And then there's a gate which leads into the first inner chamber.

GM - DF : 1:38:16 - 1:38:18

Well, I guess we proceed in.

Fria - HT : 1:38:19 - 1:39:14

Yeah, did I get anything out of the bit of looting? Yes, you got some mine magic items. Write them down and I'll at some point bring them in.

Okay. Right, so. Go and wait for the others?

Go in. When you were at the ghost version of the tower, of the keep, when you were all in here, the gate's locked, shut behind you. You couldn't open it.

Well, we are locked in, it's just on a larger scale this time. We've got two large, ornate doors.

GM - DF : 1:39:22 - 1:39:31

Okay. Well, I will approach.

Fria - HT : 1:39:33 - 1:39:56

Checking for runes and magic as I do so. Sigils and the like. Where are you?

You're outside, right? Yes, I'm over here. I will approach.

Okay. Search roll for Freya. Okey-dokes.

Jestix - TE : 1:39:57 - 1:39:58

Excellent.

Fria - HT : 1:39:59 - 1:41:36

Can I take 10? Yep. I should take 20, but I'm feeling impatient.

So that, I think my take 10 will just make it 30. I'm just double-checking. Take 10 is 30.

Take 20 is 40. As you're pottering around, you realise that actually the floor isn't quite as safe as it looks. Watch the floor, guys.

And I check it out more carefully. The grass and various other hedge stuff that's been planted around is actually covering things like pit traps and various other stuff. So she seeded it with landmines.

Excellent stuff. Basically, Vulf walks to there and you go, no further. Don't go any further.

I point out what I've seen. Hmm. I can either check it out quickly or we can all just kind of fly by.

We can bypass it or I can diffuse them. Diffuse them.

GM - DF : 1:41:37 - 1:41:40

Or bypass them. It's good, just as long as we know where they are.

Fria - HT : 1:41:41 - 1:41:51

Yeah. Okay. I will search diligently for a route through.

You find a path. Which door are you going to go to? This door?

Bjanri - PN : 1:41:51 - 1:41:52

Or this door?

Fria - HT : 1:41:59 - 1:42:45

Yeah, the closest one. Okay. You find, Howard, fair finds that actually by making a slightly longer route round, you can actually find a way to bypass the various, not very clever traps.

They're actually not very clever. Okay. Interestingly enough, with that many people having just run through, the grass will be trodden down along the route.

Probably why I noticed. The grass looks absolutely perfect. It's artificially…

Astro turf. Oh, it's all an illusion. Okay.

I approach the door and check it out.

Bjanri - PN : 1:42:53 - 1:42:56

Stand that chair. How is this?

Fria - HT : 1:42:56 - 1:45:09

The ornate doors on the other side. Okay, this looks like more like a stable block. Yay.

So Ralph and Mr. Marshall are here. Cool. An ornate door into a stabling block.

Well, it's not a stable block, but it looks like… That's what you're using it for. It was, in the real castle, a stable block.

Okay. Anyone in here? There is no one in here.

Just trees and bushes. Okay. Well, knowing that she has previously had things spring out of trees and bushes, like cobbled watsits, I tell everyone to be on their guard.

We form up, and I go in and have a look around. Okay. Again, the floor in here is stable.

Doesn't seem to be any problems. Good. You think that some of the plants are a little bit dangerous, but only if you deliberately grab them and eat them.

GM - DF : 1:45:09 - 1:45:12

I mean, they're roses. Rose bushes and stuff like that.

Fria - HT : 1:45:12 - 1:45:25

That sort of thing. They would give you poison apple type stuff. Basically, it's empty.

GM - DF : 1:45:26 - 1:45:27

It's a crone's garden.

Fria - HT : 1:45:29 - 1:45:29

Yeah.

GM - DF : 1:45:29 - 1:45:32

Ahum's got true seeing on, by the way, just to let you know.

Fria - HT : 1:45:34 - 1:46:00

True seeing sees things as they really are. Illusions and invisible creatures. That sort of thing, yeah.

And transformed things. He can roll his battlecraft.

Wulf - PB : 1:46:10 - 1:46:19

Ooh. He rolled well. Err…

Where's that at?

GM - DF : 1:46:24 - 1:46:41

Weird, eh? Err… 51.

Oh, yeah. Where is he at the moment? Oh, there he is.

I'm hovering near the tree at the moment. He's flying around waiting for the others to get hit.

Fria - HT : 1:46:53 - 1:47:08

His range is severely reduced to the size of the rooms. He can go through several inches of stone.

Jestix - TE : 1:47:11 - 1:47:11

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 1:47:12 - 1:47:13

Wooden doors.

Jestix - TE : 1:47:14 - 1:47:15

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 1:47:15 - 1:47:20

It's not going through the doors and it's not going through what looks like the walls.

GM - DF : 1:47:23 - 1:47:25

Okay. Why does he think that is?

Fria - HT : 1:47:27 - 1:47:54

Some material like lead. Okay. It's in the walls and the doors.

Ooh, the whole castle's built of gold. Could be. Could be an iron door.

It would make the place erm… not perfectly sky-proof, but…

GM - DF : 1:47:54 - 1:47:58

So it's got the anti-scrying technology built into it.

Fria - HT : 1:48:01 - 1:48:29

It's smart. Extremely paranoid. Makes the castle more appealing by the minute.

So you couldn't do a… Clairvoyance? What's just the one you can look through walls with?

X-ray vision? Hmm. Not past wall, but…

GM - DF : 1:48:30 - 1:48:34

Clairvoyance can. Yeah, where you see an area. It's obvious.

Fria - HT : 1:48:37 - 1:49:03

So, yes. Freya, you're looking around that… what?

This stable area and there's a big door at the other end. I will head carefully that way. Okay.

There doesn't appear to be any traps. Yeah, there doesn't appear to be any traps in the floor. There may be ambushes, but there's no traps.

Come on in.

GM - DF : 1:49:07 - 1:49:19

So I think it's basically trap finder, gesticks, Henry, probably Bjarni, Achum, and then Isindel at the end.

Fria - HT : 1:49:36 - 1:52:01

Having the anti-scrying walls does give us a slight advantage. Hopefully she can't scry on us either. Maybe she doesn't need scrying as such.

Maybe she has animal spies and things. Plant vision. Plant vision.

Just imagine everything here is looking at us. Yep. So, you're there, Freya?

Yep. I'm looking towards the door again, checking for sigils and anything which might kill me. You take 10 on your search.

Things are calming down a bit. I'll actually take 20. Half a million people on the west coast of America have lost power.

That's quite impressive. That's quite a big power cut. Half a billion?

Half a million. It depends what standard it is. It's just a small suburb.

Certain places in America they've managed their power even worse than we have. They got hit by some bad weather. It's not just the bad weather.

Bad administration. No, it's not administration. It's bad power companies.

Yep. We have a few of those. So, check out the door.

Door's pretty safe. Unlock and open the door. It's not locked.

Good. Open the door if anyone wants to stand by me and be ready. Let's go for it.

I open the door. Empty. Same.

GM - DF : 1:52:04 - 1:52:11

There doesn't appear to be a way out of this bit of garden. Is that correct?

Fria - HT : 1:52:12 - 1:52:17

Yep. It does appear to be. Well, it's just a garden.

Bjanri - PN : 1:52:19 - 1:52:20

Indoor garden.

Fria - HT : 1:52:25 - 1:54:35

Who does? Where? Yes, there's a secret door here.

Well done, mate. Go and check it out. Make sure it's not trapped.

It looks like you pull the greenery apart and you can go into the next area which is a corridor. Cool. We do that with the usual source.

The usual party order and care and attention. That appears to take us back the way we came. Are we going in there?

Yeah. Exactly. I'm exploring.

Wolf, if the secret door stuff is still going, let me know because it doesn't look like many doors there.

GM - DF : 1:54:36 - 1:54:38

Yeah, it lasts for quite some time.

Fria - HT : 1:54:40 - 1:54:48

Is this end a wall? What do we see? That's the wrong one.

GM - DF : 1:54:55 - 1:54:57

Wolf will wander just up here and peer down.

Fria - HT : 1:54:57 - 1:55:24

You just replicated. Yes. I was confused.

Yeah, it comes to an end here and comes to an end here. Secret doors? Yep, yep, yep.

Where's the map gone? There is a secret door here.

GM - DF : 1:55:25 - 1:55:25

Here.

Fria - HT : 1:55:32 - 1:55:47

Here. I'm assuming you eventually get there here. Basically, lots of doors concealed by vegetation.

GM - DF : 1:55:52 - 1:55:55

We can cover more ground that way.

Fria - HT : 1:55:55 - 1:55:58

Yeah. But we can't open the doors without you.

GM - DF : 1:55:59 - 1:55:59

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 1:56:00 - 1:56:03

OK. Might as well.

GM - DF : 1:56:04 - 1:56:06

One right next to Wolf.

Fria - HT : 1:56:06 - 1:56:48

OK. I check it for traps and open it. We'll unlock if necessary and open it.

She's lulling us into a false sense of safety.

Bjanri - PN : 1:56:49 - 1:56:50

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 1:56:51 - 1:56:52

You need that.

Bjanri - PN : 1:56:58 - 1:56:59

Oh, yes.

Fria - HT : 1:57:19 - 1:57:20

It's up.

Bjanri - PN : 1:57:35 - 1:57:36

Back in the mug.

Fria - HT : 1:59:38 - 2:00:09

OK. So, you come into this large room. Uh-huh.

There is a very large hole here. This room has a large thing.

GM - DF : 2:00:16 - 2:00:17

Henry seems eager. Yeah.

Fria - HT : 2:00:19 - 2:00:21

Quivering with anticipation.

GM - DF : 2:00:21 - 2:00:32

Yeah. I think, Henry, that's too big. I've got problems.

Fria - HT : 2:00:34 - 2:01:31

Standing here, not quite as big as this, because, you know, that big monorail is one of those kind of mason-type building units. Creatures that were building under the control of the genie. Yeah?

Building the castle. OK. But they weren't under the control of the genie.

Well, there was genies and various creatures. Remember when you told that? Yeah, there are lots of earth elemental-type things.

It's an earth elemental-type thing. It animates and it's going to go for you. Whoa!

There's a big hole in the floor there. Aha! So that's going to make life a bit easier.

GM - DF : 2:01:31 - 2:01:35

Do you want to mark on the map where the hole is?

Fria - HT : 2:01:36 - 2:02:08

Oh, I saw the big hole between us. So it's going to… It might sweep you into it.

Initiative Zero. It's got a negative initiative. What else?

GM - DF : 2:02:09 - 2:02:19

Nineteen for Wolf. And nineteen for Isla. When he gets to her.

Fria - HT : 2:02:23 - 2:03:07

Nine for me. Nine for me as well. Twenty-one.

I'm going to say Jestix. Although Jestix knows… Yeah, I can't act at the moment because I can't…

Just on hold. I've gone first but nothing's happened. I've moved forward a bit.

So, Wolf. You can see the creature coming to life and about to stumble forward. We spoke to these guys before, so it's worth…

They may not be evil, but on guard. On guard.

GM - DF : 2:03:19 - 2:03:41

I will… I think that anything here is going to be under the control of Waterface. So, I rush forward and a large axe appears in my hand.

A large adamantite axe appears in my hand. Of elemental being. And I shall leap forward and attack the creature.

Okay.

Fria - HT : 2:03:42 - 2:03:55

So much for dialogue. He's letting his axe do his talking. Probably his most eloquent account.

GM - DF : 2:03:57 - 2:04:02

I get well above forty away to hit.

Bjanri - PN : 2:04:02 - 2:04:03

Yes.

GM - DF : 2:04:08 - 2:04:10

I assume it's an elemental subtype. Yep.

Jestix - TE : 2:04:11 - 2:04:11

Yep.

Fria - HT : 2:04:18 - 2:04:25

Fifteen. GR5. Everything.

Thirty-five. Okay.

GM - DF : 2:04:33 - 2:04:41

Thirty-five. Thirty-five. Thirty-six.

Thirty-eight damage.

Fria - HT : 2:04:42 - 2:04:43

Takeoff five.

GM - DF : 2:04:44 - 2:04:57

Thirty-three damage. What happened? How long has it been since we were outside the…

Fria - HT : 2:04:58 - 2:05:02

Some time probably. But your thing is gone. A few minutes.

GM - DF : 2:05:03 - 2:05:07

Yes, a few minutes. Ten minutes?

Fria - HT : 2:05:10 - 2:06:18

Well, in old-fashioned D&D it would be four turns. That'd be forty minutes. Yeah.

Because basically each room is a turn. And I search and whatever. Yeah.

You've not been motoring through here. So that's full scope. I mean, in Jastix you could do something I suppose.

Well, me and Henry will move out of the way so Bjarne can get in there with his great big killing sword. You can't actually see through the hedge. This is a hedge here if you're not…

Yeah, I know, but he said so I'm moving out of the way so Bjarne can get past. Bjarne can get past me. Yeah.

Isndael you're currently in a different room Isndael.

GM - DF : 2:06:19 - 2:06:25

Yeah, I'm at the back. I'll wait for… I'll go and hold until people have got out of the way.

Fria - HT : 2:06:26 - 2:08:04

Okay. Freya is currently looking in. Yep.

I'll be second person to step in usually. So I step in and whip around the corner if I can. I'll go around there and hide.

In fact, sod it. I'll go invisible and hide. At this level being invisible really doesn't make much difference.

Okay, I will try to move in. I've stopped having visible Freya. I've gone around the corner, I hope.

Okay, then I'll do a single attack since I've moved. I'll go for the thirteen point power attack. What a shame.

I think I hit it though. Sorry? It doesn't have a high armor class.

Yep. Alright.

Jestix - TE : 2:08:05 - 2:08:18

So this is 51 points of damage.

Fria - HT : 2:08:20 - 2:08:26

Taking all five? No, I'm using my adamantine glaive at the moment.

Wulf - PB : 2:08:26 - 2:08:28

It's got DR- there.

Fria - HT : 2:08:29 - 2:09:43

DR- Oh, okay. Then 36 points of damage. Sorry, 46 points of damage.

There we are. It's taken 79. Let's go.

How many gives 10 cubic foot? Three by three by three. No.

Three and a bit. That would be 27 cubic.

GM - DF : 2:09:46 - 2:09:49

Two by two by two. And a bit.

Fria - HT : 2:09:54 - 2:10:07

Or does it mean 10 10 by 10 by 10. cubic meters? I don't know what it means.

What does 10 cubic foot do?

GM - DF : 2:10:09 - 2:10:16

Well, if it was 10 foot cubed then that would be No, it's like a stone shape.

Fria - HT : 2:10:16 - 2:10:37

There's a set volume, which you can do in any shape you want. Yes, it's using that stone shape that's just about to happen. In which case it is as it says two by two by two or two and a bit by two and a bit by two and a bit or any other combination there you want to get to 10.

GM - DF : 2:10:40 - 2:10:41

One by two by five, for example.

Fria - HT : 2:10:41 - 2:11:53

But it's also it's more than that because it's 10 cubic feet, 10 cubic foot per level. Oh, it's 10 cubic foot plus one cubic foot per level. So if you were to say 10th level, that would be 20 cubic feet.

I'm going to say just because the rule of call counts the stone underneath fourth moves away Yeah falls in a pit. Do I get some sort of It's not that there's a pit sorry, it's not that it's made a pit below you. It's removed the slab that you're standing on.

I'm sure it should be a reflex save. Yeah, that's not unreasonable.

Wulf - PB : 2:12:00 - 2:12:03

All right. I'll make a reflex save.

Fria - HT : 2:12:04 - 2:12:11

I don't know what the DC is, but I don't know what DC you're going to make either. Think of a number.

GM - DF : 2:12:12 - 2:12:12

Yeah.

Wulf - PB : 2:12:12 - 2:12:15

I'd get 30 so you can decide whether or not that makes it.

Fria - HT : 2:12:20 - 2:13:17

I'm going to say you made it but you've had to jump back. Yeah. You're no longer in combat.

I've got 29. That now is a hole. Yep.

Going somewhere below you. Okay. It looks like it goes quite a fair way down.

All the way down to level 20. That's it. You technically knew that.

That's what it does. It makes a hole for you to fall into and you didn't. Right, next.

Fourth.

GM - DF : 2:13:19 - 2:13:38

Well, I get to go around the hole. And attack you on Beastie again. I'll have a 10 point power attack this time.

Fria - HT : 2:13:46 - 2:13:47

Reflexes roll.

GM - DF : 2:13:53 - 2:13:54

33.

Fria - HT : 2:13:56 - 2:14:00

You can have your power attack and you have to jump back.

GM - DF : 2:14:04 - 2:14:15

Okay. Why? Another hole's just appeared.

Fria - HT : 2:14:16 - 2:14:18

That bit's unstable now.

GM - DF : 2:14:19 - 2:14:25

Oh, is it? So I can have a power attack you say?

Fria - HT : 2:14:25 - 2:14:34

You step forward, whack it, and then jump back. Just for the fun of it.

GM - DF : 2:14:41 - 2:15:16

AC 29. Take a 5. 39 damage.

Fria - HT : 2:15:39 - 2:15:52

36. Me and Henry will move in and there I will use a wand and I'll put the floor back.

Bjanri - PN : 2:15:55 - 2:15:57

Well done, sir.

GM - DF : 2:15:58 - 2:15:59

Coming.

Fria - HT : 2:16:05 - 2:16:41

How much can you do? I can do 20 cubic metres. Or 20 cubic feet.

Okay, I'll see you then. So, to you it looks remarkably like somebody might have actually created stone over a giant pit. Yeah.

Which is what he was busy doing while there's still a big hole there. So Dale, if you want to, then frame.

GM - DF : 2:16:42 - 2:16:49

Right. Well, for some reason Ahob hasn't got in on the action. But don't worry about him, he's…

Fria - HT : 2:16:50 - 2:16:51

He's still floating in.

GM - DF : 2:16:53 - 2:16:55

As usual, stare at Henry's butt.

Fria - HT : 2:16:59 - 2:17:28

Thank you, but you could put a huge tea towel in there. A huge tea towel? Remember those 1970s rubber thing which you could push a tea towel into?

It looked like a… Yeah. I had never considered that before, but now it's ruined.

It's ruined them completely. They're no longer tea towels, they're now dog's arses. I must say, Howard, your bedroom activities must be very interesting.

Bjanri - PN : 2:17:30 - 2:17:32

I could not possibly comment.

GM - DF : 2:17:33 - 2:17:39

And remind me never to eat from a dish that you've used as a dish towel.

Bjanri - PN : 2:17:43 - 2:17:48

Oh yeah. Is it my go again? Yes.

Fria - HT : 2:17:50 - 2:18:05

I yell out to it in the language of burrowing animals. Stop, stop, we do not have to fight. You may go back to your lands.

You do not have to protect her. She is evil.

Bjanri - PN : 2:18:10 - 2:18:10

Hear me?

Fria - HT : 2:18:12 - 2:18:34

I throw my adamantine glaive behind me, draw Excelsior, and if you let me, I'll make you a single attack. He doesn't react at all to my… I think you can drop for free, draw for a move, and you might actually be able to draw for free as well.

GM - DF : 2:18:35 - 2:18:36

That only is part of a move.

Fria - HT : 2:18:38 - 2:19:06

That's true. So you could get a single attack in. Okey dokey.

Same again. That would be something like 28 to hit. Definitely hit.

It's not evil, is it? No.

Bjanri - PN : 2:19:08 - 2:19:09

Okay. Okay.

Fria - HT : 2:19:22 - 2:19:30

Why is Vulf's hand going backwards and forwards like some metronome or something? He's waving at it.

GM - DF : 2:19:30 - 2:19:31

No, it's energy.

Fria - HT : 2:19:33 - 2:19:50

47 minus 5, 42 points 3. 60 taken. No, 156.

Bjanri - PN : 2:19:59 - 2:20:07

That's about 160. Let's go. Hmm.

Ahem.

Fria - HT : 2:21:42 - 2:21:51

Ha ha ha. Donk. Wall of stone.

GM - DF : 2:22:00 - 2:22:01

Cutting Bjarne off, huh?

Fria - HT : 2:22:02 - 2:22:03

All the way to the ceiling?

GM - DF : 2:22:04 - 2:22:04

Yep.

Fria - HT : 2:22:07 - 2:22:14

Fair enough. A smart move. He's done the most damage to it.

Bjanri - PN : 2:22:15 - 2:22:15

Yep.

Fria - HT : 2:22:18 - 2:22:19

Vulf.

GM - DF : 2:22:22 - 2:23:16

Actually, old Ahom is going to have a go now. That's right. He hasn't done much, so he's going to zoom in over a bit.

Over his head, or somewhere to about here. And he's going to cast a spell. Funnily enough.

And he says, Creature, return from wherece you came. And he casts a dismissal at it.

Bjanri - PN : 2:23:17 - 2:23:18

Ah.

GM - DF : 2:23:19 - 2:23:26

Save? Yep, he gets a will save. DC equals…

Bjanri - PN : 2:23:26 - 2:23:26

Hmm.

GM - DF : 2:23:27 - 2:24:05

Um. It's weird. Right, back to you.

What my DC is. 33… So it's 33 minus its hit dice is its will save DC.

Fria - HT : 2:24:11 - 2:24:13

33 minus its hit dice.

Bjanri - PN : 2:24:15 - 2:24:15

Yep.

Fria - HT : 2:24:25 - 2:24:27

It's got a lot of hit dice.

GM - DF : 2:24:30 - 2:24:32

In that case, it's going to make quite an easy will save.

Fria - HT : 2:24:34 - 2:24:47

It's got a math will save, but yes, good idea.

GM - DF : 2:24:48 - 2:25:07

Made the save, OK. Chucks. OK.

So there's a recently repaired hole that's just repaired itself here, yes?

Jestix - TE : 2:25:08 - 2:25:08

Yep.

GM - DF : 2:25:09 - 2:25:29

Good. I don't know why, but it did. Step forward.

Assume he doesn't go. Then he's going to have an attack. Or several.

He'll go for a 5-point power attack and a 4-attack.

Fria - HT : 2:25:31 - 2:25:38

You need to make a tumble.

Wulf - PB : 2:25:40 - 2:25:42

I need to make a tumble, do you say?

Fria - HT : 2:25:43 - 2:25:45

Oh, you did a 5-foot, aren't you? Yeah.

GM - DF : 2:25:50 - 2:25:51

So I don't need to make a tumble, no?

Bjanri - PN : 2:25:52 - 2:25:53

No. OK.

GM - DF : 2:26:00 - 2:26:52

Well. So. 38.

31. Yes. A hit.

12. I think this is going to be a poor poor Mason. 13, 14.

AC 17. 3 hits. 4.

10. 18. No, but I've got 4 attacks around because I'm a big boy.

36. 54.

Fria - HT : 2:26:52 - 2:26:55

Which reminds me of a hideous joke I heard this morning.

Bjanri - PN : 2:26:56 - 2:26:56

Yeah?

Fria - HT : 2:26:57 - 2:27:04

A young lad comes up to his mum and says, Why does Dad always make a groan when he stands up? He says, Because he's a grown man.

Bjanri - PN : 2:27:05 - 2:27:06

Oh. Oh.

Fria - HT : 2:27:07 - 2:27:16

No. I'm definitely a grown man. I can't get out of the bed without sound effects.

Wulf - PB : 2:27:33 - 2:27:34

Plus 246.

GM - DF : 2:27:35 - 2:27:45

95. Minus 15. 80 damage.

80 damage? Yeah, that's with 5 taken off for each blow.

Fria - HT : 2:27:49 - 2:27:52

Makes it 230 something, doesn't it?

Bjanri - PN : 2:27:52 - 2:27:54

Yes. 36. Boom.

GM - DF : 2:27:59 - 2:28:02

There you go. Dismissed.

Fria - HT : 2:28:04 - 2:28:42

It falls to rock on the floor. Thank you. Animating, imaging, whatever.

I'll go and collect my glaive and restock it and place it on my back. Well, we did at least try to be nice to it. Um.

I'm going to wonder if well, check there's nothing on the body, but I suspect there's none. And I'm going to look at this door. Unless someone else wants to look at the door and alter its body.

Bjanri - PN : 2:28:44 - 2:28:48

It's just a pile of rubble. You never know.

Fria - HT : 2:28:48 - 2:29:30

It could have been a pile of rubble wearing a gold ring. No. Um.

Do a detect magic on it, at least. The whole bleeding place reeks of magic, I suspect. Yeah.

Magic has recently been cast here. But there's no persistent magic item glowing like a lamp. So you're going to open that door, are you?

GM - DF : 2:29:30 - 2:29:34

Yeah. I'm afraid I'll give it a one turn and then open it.

Fria - HT : 2:29:47 - 2:29:54

We'll mark secret doors for later. The one near her.

Wulf - PB : 2:29:58 - 2:30:01

It should be the other side of the fence at some point. I think.

Jestix - TE : 2:31:18 - 2:31:19

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 2:31:34 - 2:31:44

Look into this area here. Corridor. Three doors in it.

Wow.

Wulf - PB : 2:31:45 - 2:31:48

Which way? Check for secret doors.

Fria - HT : 2:31:49 - 2:34:30

No secret doors in here. Yep. Same thing.

I'll check it for Vulcan Breach. It's not trapped. All yours, mate.

Open this door. Open this door. Largest room.

Similarly decorated with bushes and trees. Some of them actually look like they've been designed as places to sit on. Relatively comfortable.

There is no one in here. Open the door. What's Henry doing?

He's following me. He's falling over. He was just poised on his nose for a moment there.

This room looks like there was a fair few people in here not that long ago. Is there a… Go on.

Jestix - TE : 2:34:30 - 2:34:31

There's what?

Fria - HT : 2:34:33 - 2:34:37

Piratey sailor like stuff.

Bjanri - PN : 2:34:38 - 2:34:39

A hearter.

Fria - HT : 2:34:41 - 2:35:30

Also if I can find him So, roll a spot roll. Sure. Seven.

Your spot is bad.

GM - DF : 2:35:32 - 2:35:35

Hey. Minus one. What are you waiting for?

Bjanri - PN : 2:35:40 - 2:35:45

You don't spot the bush ninjas.

GM - DF : 2:35:59 - 2:36:01

So, is there anything obvious in here?

Fria - HT : 2:36:02 - 2:36:15

Yes. There is a large kind of I don't know, bear, shark like creatures as you open the door. It savages you.

It tries to savage you.

GM - DF : 2:36:18 - 2:36:19

Shark and bear.

Fria - HT : 2:36:21 - 2:36:23

I don't think we've encountered a shark and bear before.

GM - DF : 2:36:24 - 2:36:40

We did encounter a shark creature with a fire axe. Whoa. What big teeth you've got.

Bjanri - PN : 2:36:46 - 2:36:47

A bear shark.

Fria - HT : 2:36:48 - 2:37:01

You look weird. It only gets to attack you once. So, it will bite you with one of its hands.

GM - DF : 2:37:03 - 2:37:06

Oh God, it's got shark teeth.

Fria - HT : 2:37:07 - 2:37:21

It's got sharks on its hands, yeah. Snap that. Map state map.

33.

GM - DF : 2:37:23 - 2:37:24

Bites on the edge of a shield.

Fria - HT : 2:37:27 - 2:37:28

Even your flat foot.

GM - DF : 2:37:31 - 2:37:39

I don't think you get that. But no, even that. It would be minus two.

But if I was to deny my dex as well, then yeah, maybe.

Fria - HT : 2:37:39 - 2:37:48

Can you be flat footed when you've got what you call evasion.

GM - DF : 2:37:49 - 2:37:53

Character retains their dexterity bonus to AC even if caught flat footed.

Fria - HT : 2:37:55 - 2:37:56

Acceptable.

GM - DF : 2:37:57 - 2:38:02

Pumbug. So, you missed. Hurrah for a candy dodge.

Fria - HT : 2:38:05 - 2:38:06

Right, so initiative.

GM - DF : 2:38:21 - 2:38:31

Six wolf and twelve. Thirteen prisoner. It beats you with eight.

Fria - HT : 2:38:37 - 2:38:50

Anyone else? Twenty-four. Eighteen.

Nineteen.

GM - DF : 2:38:52 - 2:38:55

Ahog gets nine.

Fria - HT : 2:38:58 - 2:39:31

So, roll I would suggest spot or character if you get like twenty-ish, you notice that there's a shark and bear at the door. There's a shark and bear at the door. I can't get lower than that.

So, Jeff Sticks notices it.

GM - DF : 2:39:32 - 2:39:36

Mr Dell hears it. That sounds like a shark and bear, he says.

Fria - HT : 2:39:41 - 2:40:24

I'm really not concentrating on the door, but I can a natural twenty. So, Freya actually hears something behind her, or whatever. Notices that prickly sensation of something going on.

You want me to roll spot or litter? Spot. Thirty-eight.

So, you see one of these weird-ass shark hands come out of the doorway.

GM - DF : 2:40:25 - 2:40:29

To be honest, we've not seen a shark and bear before, though.

Fria - HT : 2:40:34 - 2:40:53

These were actually quite dangerous ones. It's an abomination. Okay, so Jeff Sticks, you get to go first.

You've probably seen one of these before and thought, oh shit, it's one of those. Yeah, I will move up behind Wolf to give him a push into the jaws.

GM - DF : 2:40:58 - 2:41:00

Henry's just gone through the wall.

Fria - HT : 2:41:00 - 2:41:41

I know, that's because I can't get him to go through the door. Jeff Sticks moves up. Freya, you hear behind you something.

Behind me, as in over here? Yes. You probably, you know, out of the corner of your eye, notice Wolf step back or something.

Oh my goodness. Whoa, teeth. Full sliding of bear shark, everybody.

I start searching the room and the pirate's equipment.

GM - DF : 2:41:42 - 2:41:44

The pirate's equipment's where the shark and bear is.

Fria - HT : 2:41:44 - 2:41:56

Yes. Oh, okay. Well, I'm searching the room we're in.

There's stuff in here as well, but not much. Just in case. Secret doors, hidden cobble.

Bjanri - PN : 2:41:56 - 2:41:57

Other bear sharks.

Fria - HT : 2:41:58 - 2:42:09

That's something as large as you, with sharks. So it's got a shark mouth, the head, and two sharks on its hands.

Bjanri - PN : 2:42:10 - 2:42:11

Move back Wolf.

Fria - HT : 2:42:17 - 2:43:35

I'll move into position to take advantage if it comes out. Or is it possible for me to use, strike, hold my action and try and swipe at one of its arms if it has another go at Wolf? Okay, I'll just stand there, ready for him to move back or not, as he wishes.

You could go back to your position. Yeah, but I won't be able to really strike at it from there. No, I'll just stand there and I'll wait.

If it comes out, it comes out. Once it's eaten through Wolf. Yeah.

Which we will encourage. Come on, Wolf. Get in there.

Get your head in its mouth.

GM - DF : 2:43:36 - 2:43:38

Isabel starts to move.

Fria - HT : 2:43:40 - 2:43:59

And I'm on stretch. I think that's what's most chomping, isn't it? Throwing chump into the jaws of a shark.

Or is that a chum? It's chumming. You're chumming.

Wulf - PB : 2:44:00 - 2:44:07

Take a single shot to shoot the shark. Minus four. Oh, she missed.

Fria - HT : 2:44:12 - 2:44:14

28 doesn't hit you, does it?

Wulf - PB : 2:44:18 - 2:44:23

Atom's going to go. He's going to move. He'll get into the room to see what's going on.

Fria - HT : 2:44:25 - 2:45:06

How much damage did she do? None. Is it damaged?

Does 28 hit Wolf? No. He does get a threat though.

But doesn't connect. 12 points of your finest damage. And make a Fortitude 11 saving throw.

GM - DF : 2:45:08 - 2:45:14

Uh-huh. I make it. I rolled a 13.

Fria - HT : 2:45:17 - 2:45:18

You make 13.

GM - DF : 2:45:19 - 2:45:23

Lucky for you. I rolled a 13. I have some bonuses on top of that.

Fria - HT : 2:45:27 - 2:45:39

It's likely a one only, isn't it? Yeah. Now it's your go.

It's big teeth come down.

GM - DF : 2:45:39 - 2:45:53

Well, it seems churlish for me to keep all the fun to myself, so Wolf will move back as requested by the mighty warrior that is Bjarni.

Wulf - PB : 2:45:53 - 2:45:57

He'll do a withdraw action.

Fria - HT : 2:46:05 - 2:47:05

Jestix, you can have a go. I will wait for it to come through the door. Fuzzy.

Freya, you're searching, aren't you? Yeah, just keep half an eye on that. Just in case there's something happening, but finish off searching this room and the elemental and things.

Do you want to delay or attack it? Wait. Oh, is it my turn?

I thought you took it. Oh, you've delayed. Do you want to delay as well, or do you want to attack it?

No, I'm going to delay because the whole idea was it to come out of the room. I don't want to steal your ordinary.

GM - DF : 2:47:11 - 2:47:13

He's in a suit now that falls out of the way.

Fria - HT : 2:47:17 - 2:48:17

I was reading this, I don't know if you can see it, which is the Lost Dungeons of Tomisberg, which was the other campaign that was run at the same time as Blackhawk and all that lot. And it's got the 3-0 D&D rules. Wow.

And one of the things that's in here is that the table used to argue about whether experience points were given to the person who killed a monster or shared. Well, that was traditional AD&D. It was killing below got the experience.

It actually talks about experience points for treasure taken out of the dungeon.

Bjanri - PN : 2:48:19 - 2:48:19

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 2:48:20 - 2:49:04

You have to get it out of the dungeon and 10% of it is given to a reason like towards your training or your church. You're subject to taxes. And there's also 10% tax as well, which you're supposed to give once a month.

But the experience points for cash is actually 1 tenth of that gold. So you get tax 20% and then you get 1 tenth of that. Yeah.

Sounds like real life. And the ref also would give experience points out for magic items. And if you found a…

GM - DF : 2:49:05 - 2:49:17

Yeah, that's all original first edition rules, yeah. Right, there's AC23 here. Oh yes, it's not good.

Any critic?

Fria - HT : 2:49:19 - 2:49:34

I don't see any reason why not. Okay. It's got DR which I think at the moment you will…

DR10?

GM - DF : 2:49:47 - 2:49:55

12 36 So the first blow does 32.

Fria - HT : 2:49:56 - 2:49:57

Taking off 10?

GM - DF : 2:49:57 - 2:50:05

Yep. Second blow does 12.

Wulf - PB : 2:50:08 - 2:50:14

And the third blow does 33.

Fria - HT : 2:50:25 - 2:50:33

You might have stood there and beat it up. Yeah. This was a really hard creature when you first came across it.

Yeah.

GM - DF : 2:50:37 - 2:50:39

We didn't know if it might have been upgraded.

Fria - HT : 2:50:40 - 2:51:32

This one hasn't. You've just given the ref an idea. No, no, no.

I've been practical. In reality, there's only so many things that she could have upgraded. I could be totally loose, but…

So, apart from various stuff from pirates, there's not much else around. Should we call it a night? Or do you want to open the next door?

Call it a night. Leave the next door for next week. Okay.

Just for interest, I'll imagine someone did actually look down the hole.

Bjanri - PN : 2:51:32 - 2:51:32

Yeah.

Fria - HT : 2:51:33 - 2:51:49

It does appear to be a cave going off. In the general direction of Riddles. Right.

And they hoax up with the Catacombs, I assume. Probably.

Bjanri - PN : 2:51:52 - 2:51:53

Well.

GM - DF : 2:52:02 - 2:52:06

This place is full of surprises. Yeah.

Fria - HT : 2:52:07 - 2:52:08

Unusual.

GM - DF : 2:52:08 - 2:52:11

And B and V.

Fria - HT : 2:52:12 - 2:52:18

And a completely different layout to the original. The rooms are in the same place.

Bjanri - PN : 2:52:19 - 2:52:20

But the doors aren't.

Fria - HT : 2:52:21 - 2:52:45

We reckoned where the stone that we're looking for to take down the thing is. And it's in one of these rooms we're quite close to. I was just going to teleport into the castle.

Yeah. But given the look of it, it might be on the floor above or the floor below. I think I worked out quite accurately where it was.

Wulf - PB : 2:52:47 - 2:52:49

I think if you go through this door here.

Fria - HT : 2:52:49 - 2:53:20

Yeah. In the original castle there was a big chamber. Yeah.

That's what I'm expecting to find there. The Great Hall. That's what I'm hoping to go into.

And that's where I expect to find the floating stone thing that we have to take down to the wall. Don't get too focused on that because you might very well find that DH is in there as well. Exactly.

Wulf - PB : 2:53:22 - 2:53:25

I think that door is where we're going to go through next week.

Fria - HT : 2:53:27 - 2:53:32

Indeed. Cool, cool. Well, thank you Dave.

Thanks everyone.

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