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==== Summary 54: The Baronet's stag do (2011-08-25) ====
[[Giraine]] [[summaries-2011|Summaries]]
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Last time you entertained yourselves and tormented the Baronet. First it was Inyana pressuring him for a kiss, muttering nonsense about old women and potions and no longer being immortal if she got a kiss (and she did). She showed her naivete about ... man and women stuff... by discussing how she'd fashioned crude clay people on the mudflats which their love would turn into children. After their smooch, they spotted a strange being on the shore- humanoid and misshapen, with tentacles, muttering or gibbering. They approached it with trepidation then returned to the manor grounds, returning with help to find that it was the Baronet, preparing a ritual squid as headgear for the Baronet's party! 

Kegs of booze were opened and the peasants came threading through the swamp with torches to commence the celebration. Baronet Shaven was stripped and adorned with squid-head and grass skirt, and tempted with abundant booze but did not respond as indulgently as they'd hoped. He caught one peasant trying to sneak something into his fine "Lotharios" wine and scolded them. Later the frenzied, drunken crowd carried him to the tower for his first test (courage), but everyone was surprised to find Skrimton Nodeal the fat Vadeli waiting at the tower's pinnacle room. An awkward confrontation ensued, with Ciddar cowering and others distracted (and the peasants remarkably open to the Vadeli's initial lewd suggestions), but the Captain's blustering saved the Baronet from an inopportune bodily violation. The Vadeli, frustrated, released a brown gas cloud that left most of the group badly sickened (clearing room for more booze later!) and vanished. The test, walking a plank into a net, was successful in that the Baronet tried to leap to safety and not drop into the net but just ended up leaping into the net with little grace (but still the semblance of courage). 

The second test, of strength, was back on the shoreline, where a gruff Ouori had come to wrestle with the Baronet. If he could survive three bouts he'd pass the test, and he did- but not by defeating the Ouori with brute force- rather with nimble (if intoxicated) footwork. The Ouori became incensed and wanted a real fight, but the Captain talked him down and the warrior left swearing he'd be back. 

The third test, of love, involved a small harem of women from St Thosos (and maybe one short one that was vaguely familiar?) who danced off with the Baronet in tow and wriggled their best to delight his senses, but did not sorely tempt him. However he did seem oddly distracted after this test, lost in a haze of liquor-lubricated inner thoughts. 

The successful Baronet was not the drunkest one at the party, but did his fealty to his subjects and submitted himself to this once-in-a-lifetime ritual humiliation, in fine Quinpolic tradition. He soon was carried safely back to his bed for his last night of rest as a bachelor. Boamund had been dutifully sober throughout and took good care of him, whereas the Captain and Ciddar got caught up in the decadence and had some regrets the next morning. 

But dignity and concentration were not all the loss the poor Baronet experienced, oh no, my friends. He awoke missing a certain something of his physical... manlihood. Immediately his thoughts turned back to the previous night's harem temptations, and his meandering thoughts. Did he perhaps have unresolved business with another? And how could he proceed without that certain something needed to consolidate his wedding night?  He confided in his closest friends and covered himself in Oomsh and dissheveled clothing, then spoke with mother Cyroosta. She promised one solution, to fashion a clay replacement, and insisted that the wedding must proceed, so you had to solve the problem or accept her ominous 'accessory.' 

So the Baronet and his friends set off to try to find the missing member. They visited the Spider-Tree near the manor grounds, and found decorative webs including a fine lacy image of a man and woman (?) apparently left as a gift. There had been spiders there, but no Gertrude the fool could be found. Time was running out before the great ceremony, so what COULD you do to save your unmanned Lord from great embarrassment, my friends....?? 
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